There are a lot of more important things I could be updating about right now, but I'm not going to. Later, maybe, but not now.

This is just a friendly public service announcement from The Occasional. If you live in the US, do not use Regions Bank. Ever.

Why? You ask? Because in this time of economic crisis when people are missing payments and defaulting on loans, credit cards and everything else left and right, Regions will actually punish you for being a good customer.

Say what? No, really.

I managed to pay my car loan off a couple months early and got slapped with extra fees that totaled more than the final payment itself. When I called to ask why, it was the "penalty for paying early." Would they waive the fee? Of course not? Why? Because it was in the contract. I could go to the local branch and talk to a loan officer about it, which, believe me, I would, except for one small problem. There isn't a local branch within 100 miles of where I live. Believe me, I checked.

You have got to be kidding me. Shouldn't a bank be rolling over to kiss the feet of their customers who are actually fulfilling the terms of their loans and getting the money back to them? But instead, they are too busy negotiating with everyone else for money they're not going to see anyway, waiving payments and fees and everything else in hopes of getting a tiny portion of their money back on a loan they probably never should've made in the first place.

Companies, banks especially, listen up: if you want to keep your customers happy, don't penalize the ones who are actually being good customers. It just makes us angry, and makes us write up pissed off rants we post on the internet.

Later, when it's not a potential legal issue, I'll tell you a really good story about a brain tumor, 30 vials of the wrong blood and a torn aorta, among other epic fuckuppery.