I just found out that one of my brother’s best friends died of an overdose. Cocaine. That along with oxy and heroin are pretty big in this middle-of-nowhere small-town community of mine. Everybody does it. The people who don’t still know where to get it if they want it. The funeral’s Wednesday at 11 am, so I should probably drag my ass out of bed without complaint and go. I haven’t actually seen Skeeter (don’t laugh) in about two years now, but he was a pretty good friend to me when I was younger.

It’s got me scared as hell and thinking about a lot of things I’d rather not think about. A few years ago, my brother got into a lot of trouble on oxy and heroin and went through a few failed attempts at rehab and barely kept himself out of jail. He finally got into a center that did him a world of good, and he moved to Charlotte afterwards and got his life back in order. He even found religion.

Then he moved back here for reasons that are still unknown, and it was the worst thing that could have happened. He took up with his old crowd and fell into his old ways, and now he’s facing serious jail time and one of his best friends is dead. Makes me think about how short life is, and how badly life can get screwed up and how quickly it can get there.  

Mostly, though, I’m worried as hell that my brother’s going to die on me.  He has a 5 year old son, and I don't mind bragging that my nephew is the most amazing kid on this planet.  His mother also isn't in the picture, and he worships his dad, my brother.  Auntie Ang, due to her work schedule, isn't in the picture nearly as much as she's like to be.  I've changed my life insurance policies, a few months ago, to make the kid beneficiary should anything happen to me.  I want to know he's looked after.