Mood: 
Gearing up for a vacation, even though I'm not going anywhere.
Now Playing: Previewing the lastest tracks from Bond on Amazon.com.
Swear Words Spoken: 6
My “necessary evil” chapter refuses to be silenced. It’s amazing how a few words can make one sound more productive than one has been. I suppose at this point, a post should be expected on how this little chapter that’s kicked my ass for almost an entire year now has spiraled out of control and into a miniature monstrosity amid a novel that may or may not get completed by the end of the year.
The truth of the matter is that my chapter has increased by a length of five pages from where it was this time in August. I’m at a measly seven pages total, most of it dialogue--stupid, male dialogue. No shootouts, no profound dramatic moments, not a lot of anything remotely profound coming from the keyboard of a laptop which has penned 13,000 word chapters on this same novel. I haven’t even broke 3,000 on the amazing, flowing chapter, yet I am apparently writing an entry in celebration.
I haven’t really been productive this week, not really. The office shoved me on dayshift for the past two weeks, otherwise I’d probably have the thing complete by now. I have also developed a particularly obnoxious habit of starting at my computer screen and waiting for something interesting to happen. For the cool folks on the tagboard (you know who you are) to spring to life with some fascinating topic of conversation I can engage in. For an old friend to pop up on messenger with a fantastic story. For the mother of all internet distractions, Ebay, to post some completely out-there Something that I must possess. I keep meaning to sit down and type this chapter. I sit down, I go through all the hassle of installing Office on a new computer, I open up my piddly seven-page chapter.
And I stare. Yet somehow, I feel productive. I'm hoping it's not due solely to the creative impotence I've suffered for too long. Part of the reason I consciously put this book on hiatus after unconsciously stopping work was to get Alec out of the habit of being a passenger in his own life's story. He's still in the habit, unfortunately. I think I may have put him into shock. Given all he's handled in the previous twenty-one chapters of this novel, the prospects for that having happened are rather high. Instead of an active narrator, he's gradually transformed into a recorder of events. A camera, instead of the person in front of it. I sit at my desk and stare at my screen and try to think of ways to overcome this problem and return the dynamic of his thought process to the novel.
Then I go surf a few sites, think about how bored I am, and go back to staring at my half-completed document, feeling lessened, unaccomplished, determined to type out a few words and be done with this evil, time-consuming, worthless chapter once and for all.
Which explains why I’m writing (and more than likely going on to post) this entry, typing its contents at a rapid pace just below the dangling, incomplete paragraphs of my novel. I should go back to work. I shall post this entry and go back to work.
In the words of the immortal George Strait, “and if you’ll buy that, I’ll throw the Golden Gate in free."
Filed under:
(1) Embraced the madness. // Insanity Isn't Temporary
Mood: 
Frustrated as hell
Now Reading: Obsidian Butterfly by Laurell K. Hamilton
Swear Words Spoken Today: 0. Thought: A hell of a lot more.
Quote of the Week:
“I am a galley slave to pen and ink. “
~Honore de Balzac
The Mambo This Week is "THIS IS YOUR LIFE" (in music)
I'm going to post a few questions and you get to tell us which songs most suit that part of your life or event in your life. 1. Song By The First Band You Liked: The first band I can ever truly remember loving is country group Alabama. The first song I can remember listening to is “Roll On (Eighteen Wheeler). To this day, I still love that song. 2. The Song That Makes You Think Of Your Best Friend: “A Rose is a Rose” by Poe makes me think of Tara every time. The gist of a song is a woman walking into a room with such good looks and charisma that all of literature’s most famous minds are competing for a moment of her affection. Tara has that kind of style and energy. 3. A Song By The First Band You Saw In Concert: I am a country concert addict, and the first show I ever saw was by Brooks & Dunn, shortly after the release of their second album. Every time I think of Brooks & Dunn, I think of “Brand New Man.” It’s not my favorite song by them, not by a long shot, but it is one of the quintessential Brooks & Dunn songs. 4. A Song That Reminds You Of College/School: Hmmm…the quintessential college song. That’s a hard one, especially since I went to college during the dawning of Britney and N’SYNC mania and am determined not to think of them. So I shall say Hollywood Nights by Bob Seger, because I took many a good many a good road trip to the tune of that song.
Filed under:
(2) Embraced the madness. // Insanity Isn't Temporary
Fierce.Now Playing: Yeah, Yeah, Yeah by Uncle Kracker
Now Reading: Blue Moon by Laurell K. Hamilton (almost done)
Now Writing: Out of Nowhere (about damned time)
Swear Words Spoken Today: 2
I think a little while ago, I may have said something to the extent of Eureeka, I finally figured out what my problem was with being stalled on Out of Nowhere for so long. I lied. I had no idea what I was doing or why on earth I’ve been trying to write the same chapter for close to a year now. I’ve thus far taken solace in the fact that at least I’m not a published author and have publishers breathing down my neck about deadlines. Sometimes, being anonymous is a good thing. Leaves more time for thinking and less to contemplate the dynamics involved in getting a laptop to fly if it is hurled out of a bedroom window in disgust.
This time though, thanks to a lunchtime conversation with Helene and, a few days later, a few too many gas fumes during yard work, I think I’ve worked out most of my issues surrounding this novel. Hell helped my to realize that I have an almost paralyzing fear of completion, a fear of submitting this work that I have poured so much of my heart, soul, pain and passion into and having it be rejected, turned down, deemed inadequate for mass market consumption. I’m scared of being finished with it, of knowing that I’ve created something wonderful yet somehow not good enough. It’s much safer to stall on some mediocre yet necessary evil of a chapter and whine and cry about losing my muse, or about the characters not wanting to cooperate with a particular direction.
I’ve had Alec in my head for ten years now. A decade. That’s longer than most marriages work. There’s a part of my who believes that the relationship I’ve formed with this character are far more complex than any I’ll ever have in real life. It is an interesting thing, to have an argument with the voice in your head, that you created, and lose miserably. He’s a different personality from me, and while we have a few emotional defects in common, there’s a world of difference between us. He keeps me honest, more often than not, and I try to keep him from doing immensely stupid things in the name of preserving a plot. More than a few people I know say I talk about Alec like he’s a completely separate and real entity. After living with someone inside your head for a decade, they are. Whether you invented them or not, they inevitably develop their own personalities and desires, that often conflict with your own (the author’s) intent for them as a character.
The chapter that’s kicked my ass since July of last year (no kidding) is a fairly simple set-up. After being shot, almost blown up, involved in a car wreck and shot a few more times, Alec finally gets a day off to kick back at a bar with a few friends and some strippers. He needed a vacation. I was more than willing to grant him a few hours happiness before throwing him back into the plot. I figured, wrongly, that this chapter would be the fastest I’ve ever written. Men being men, drunken, immature men who needed to get laid and, for the largest part succeed in doing so. So Alec went to the bar, sat down with a drink, propped his feet up and refused to move. At first, I thought it was because, being a man and human nature being what it was, he was enjoying his new change of pace entirely too much.
After a year or arguing without ever finding the source of the problem, much less a resolution, I have decided we’re both to blame. Me for being creatively terrified to propel this book one step closer to closure, Alec for being a stubborn jackass and not telling me I was setting him up with the wrong woman.
I’m sitting here, putting the finishing touches on this update, with a fantastic argument between Alec and one of the women in his life brewing in the back of my head. I think I’ll go write it now, before I decide to stifle myself.
Filed under:
(2) Embraced the madness. // Insanity Isn't Temporary
Mood: 
Sleepy
Now Playing: Anything But Mine by Kenny Chesney (my new favorite country song ever)
Swear Words Spoken Today: 6. Stupid rain, stupid slick floors, stupid busted ankle.
A while ago, I posted the openings of a short story about some people named James and Meredith, then I and they promptly disappeared. I do have a little more written on that story, which will make no sense whatosever for a while to come. I shall take this time to prove I am still productive and introduce a new character named Max, who will complicate the equation.
--~~oo(O)oo~~-- --~~oo(O)oo~~--
“Find something you love and do it well.” Those words had been fro my college advisor, the guidance counselor for the almost-grown-up sect of society. (I distinctly remember snickering at that remark, a nice, snorted laugh that came from thinking about going back to the dorms and someone I loved, and doing them exceptionally well.)
“I love you,” I said once, nervous and well aware of every taboo I was barreling through. (The object of my affections was the same utterly fascinating law student I’d been thinking dirty thoughts about in the counselor’s office.)
“Be all that you can be,” the army recruiter had advised with a grin and a roll of his eyes as he’d pointed to the recruiting poster. (They were considerably more cheesy back in the day than the sleek sophisticated advertisements of today’s military.)
“Damn, Al, don’t tell me he hit that!” Shock and awe from my drill sergeant the first time I’d tried my luck with a sniper rifle. (Al was sergeant Vijay Alazando, one of the best sharpshooters in probably--ever. The answer, by the way, was yes, I had, and dead center.)
“I’ll make you a better offer if you’d be willing to put aside a few moral convictions and have dinner with me,” a man who had introduced himself only as Malcolm has whispered into my ear as I pondered re-enlistment. (So I did, and I did, and that is what we call the turning point.)
“I’d pay double your standard fee.” An offer I couldn’t (and didn’t) refuse from a grieving widow.
“Maybe it’s better for both of us that we’re doing this now instead of waiting until we hate each other,” I said one day to the man who had once been the love of my life. I don’t think he’s ever fully forgiven me for it, though we still claim friendship of often awkward grounds.
“Let’s just go ahead and get married,” an incredibly complicated woman said to me a handful of years later. “You know it’s inevitable.” We’re getting there.
My entire life could be summed up by a few words spoken at just the right moments. Those who knew me best knew that I was nothing, if not a student of opportunity.
Filed under:
(2) Embraced the madness. // Insanity Isn't Temporary
| Disorder | Rating |
| Paranoid: | High |
| Schizoid: | Low |
| Schizotypal: | High |
| Antisocial: | High |
| Borderline: | Low |
| Histrionic: | Moderate |
| Narcissistic: | Moderate |
| Avoidant: | Moderate |
| Dependent: | Low |
| Obsessive-Compulsive: | Low |
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- | |
Paranoid
Paranoid personality disorder is characterized by a distrust of others and a constant suspicion that people around you have sinister motives. People with this disorder tend to have excessive trust in their own knowledge and abilities and usually avoid close relationships with others. They search for hidden meanings in everything and read hostile intentions into the actions of others. They are quick to challenge the loyalties of friends and loved ones and often appear cold and distant to others. They usually shift blame to others and tend to carry long grudges.
Schizoid
People with schizoid personality disorder avoid relationships and do not show much emotion. They genuinely prefer to be alone and do not secretly wish for popularity. They tend to seek jobs that require little social contact. Their social skills are often weak and they do not show a need for attention or acceptance. They are perceived as humorless and distant and often are termed "loners."
Schizotypal
Many believe that schizotypal personality disorder represents mild schizophrenia. The disorder is characterized by odd forms of thinking and perceiving, and individuals with this disorder often seek isolation from others. They sometimes believe to have extra sensory ability or that unrelated events relate to them in some important way. They generally engage in eccentric behavior and have difficulty concentrating for long periods of time. Their speech is often over elaborate and difficult to follow.
Antisocial
A common misconception is that antisocial personality disorder refers to people who have poor social skills. The opposite is often the case. Instead, antisocial personality disorder is characterized by a lack of conscience. People with this disorder are prone to criminal behavior, believing that their victims are weak and deserving of being taken advantage of. They tend to lie and steal. Often, they are careless with money and take action without thinking about consequences. They are often agressive and are much more concerned with their own needs than the needs of others.
Borderline
Borderline personality disorder is characterized by mood instability and poor self-image. People with this disorder are prone to constant mood swings and bouts of anger. Often, they will take their anger out on themselves, causing themselves injury. Suicidal threats and actions are not uncommon. They think in very black and white terms and often form intense, conflict-ridden relationships. They are quick to anger when their expectations are not met.
Histrionic
People with histrionic personality disorder are constant attention seekers. They need to be the center of attention all the time, often interrupting others in order to dominate the conversation. They use grandiose language to discribe everyday events and seek constant praise. They may dress provacatively or exaggerate illnesses in order to gain attention. They also tend to exaggerate friendships and relationships, believing that everyone loves them. They are often manipulative.
Narcissistic
Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by self-centeredness. Like histrionic disorder, people with this disorder seek attention and praise. They exaggerate their achievements, expecting others to recongize them as being superior. They tend to be choosy about picking friends, since they believe that not just anyone is worthy of being their friend. They tend to make good first impressions, yet have difficulty maintaining long-lasting relationships. They are generally uninterested in the feelings of others and may take advantage of them.
Avoidant
Avoidant personality disorder is characterized by extreme social anxiety. People with this disorder often feel inadequate, avoid social situations, and seek out jobs with little contact with others. They are fearful of being rejected and worry about embarassing themselves in front of others. They exaggerate the potential difficulties of new situations to rationalize avoiding them. Often, they will create fantasy worlds to substitute for the real one. Unlike schizoid personality disorder, avoidant people yearn for social relations yet feel they are unable to obtain them. They are frequently depressed and have low self-confidence.
Dependent
Dependent personality disorder is characterized by a need to be taken care of. People with this disorder tend to cling to people and fear losing them. They may become suicidal when a break-up is imminent. They tend to let others make important decisions for them and often jump from relationship to relationship. They often remain in abusive relationships. They are overly sensitive to disapproval. They often feel helpless and depressed.
Obsessive-Compulsive
Obsessive-Compulsive personality disorder is similar to obsessive-compulsive anxiety disorder. People with this disorder are overly focused on orderliness and perfection. Their need to do everything "right" often interferes with their productivity. They tend to get caught up in the details and miss the bigger picture. They set unreasonably high standards for themselves and others, and tend to be very critical of others when they do not live up to these high standards. They avoid working in teams, believing others to be too careless or incompetent. They avoid making decisions because they fear making mistakes and are rarely generous with their time or money. They often have difficulty expressing emotion.
I'm still alive. I'll put up a real update eventually. Until then....
Filed under:
Embrace the madness. // Insanity Isn't Temporary
Making plans for some serious travelSwear Words Spoken: Something like 15
The creative book-making process has taken a back-burner of late to my newfound obsession with D&D. My gaming group is in the process of running 3 campaigns simultaneously, due to the odd schedules of those of us who play. My main character, a bard named Brynne, is kicking serious ass and charming the hell out of everyone our party meets. She’s quickly becoming the information gatherer/diplomatic/charming swindler of the group, though she can kick serious ass in a fight as well. I love playing her, and we have a tendency to game for about 10 hours at a time, between smoke breaks, drink breaks and food breaks. I am quickly becoming a gaming dweeb, but man, it’s fun.
I’ve also been drawing pretty steadily--again, thanks to my gaming adventures. I’ve completed an impressive portrait of Brynne, and liked it so much that I’m going to do individual shots of the members of our party. Now, to learn how to draw halflings and dwarves…..
On the writing front, Edward and Alan are also still around, though I’m trying to shift my priorities back to the novels and actually make half an effort to get at least two of them finished. I am starting to envision the ongoing saga of Teddy and Lin as a series of short stories, rather than two or three, or one lengthier work. The format will be something of an adventure of me, as I try to think in more linear terms, but it will also cut down on those boring but necessary interludes that come with writing a novel. I have two or three good stories to tell using the two of them and would, somewhere down the line, like to try my hand at something from Alan’s perspective. For now, though, it will have to take a back seat to my larger works.
I’m trying to get back into the swing of my occult book, Jinx. I’m also thinking or renaming it Pagan Messiahs, or something equally goth. Jinx was cute when I didn’t know what the book was about, but now it’s more of a working title until something better comes along. If you haven’t read it, I recommend you do so. It’s got lots or profanity, sex, loud music, death, and lots of interesting magical persons with varying degrees or hang-ups and neuroses. Amid all that there’s a plot. A pretty solid plot. Good stuff, trust me. I finished one chapter on it last week and am working on another, which is about halfway finished. Working on this book, no matter how little I get done, always leads to feelings of massive accomplishment.
In the “What the Hell Else Can I Throw at Alec?” department, Kisha and I are thinking about writing a crossover of our own. Since Alec and company have already fought vampires in the last crossover I co-wrote with a friend of mine, I figure he can take on the world of cybernetics with ease. I have a blast doing these little side projects, despite the complete and utter lack of any chance they could logically tie into the Centre mythos. Desert Rose gave me a chance to show off sides of my characters I would not otherwise get to, as the more extreme situations are cause for wildly different reactions. In fact, co-writing Desert Rose was probably one of the best things that I could have done for myself, as it gave me a chance to tap into facets of my cast I would have otherwise left unturned, or written off as some cute little cliché.
In other Centre-related news, I’m giving up on that damned chapter of Out of Nowhere that’s been stalling me since last July. I’m trying to make it into something it’s not (interesting) as opposed to a necessary evil (lull) between interesting things. A part of me feels like I’m selling out for doing it, but there’s only so long I can stare at the same three half-written pages before wanting to throw the laptop out the window to see if it will fly. Alec is obviously not going to cooperate with me in telling this story the way I want to tell it, so I am finally going to give in and chalk a victory up to the voices in my head for breaking my will.
I want desperately to get this novel completed (again). Kisha keeps telling me to send in the 22 completed chapters to a publisher and let them publish it as is. I’ve spent the past few weeks reading over the manuscript, and her idea is a good one. As much as I hate to admit as much to myself, those 22 completed chapters would make a damned fantastic novel as-are. I’ve got close to 160,000 words invested in them, and the story is tight, packed with action, and the characterizations are among the finest I’ve turned out.
The only problem is those fourteen chapters I have left to write. The ones that I know are part of this book, part of this story, and that I refuse to leave out, even at the expense of near-immediate publication and easy sequel prospects. Even if I were to walk through the local Barnes and Noble and see my work on its shelves, I wouldn’t be satisfied, because the part of me that knew the work was not completed would never give me a moment’s peace. Publishing the story now, despite the apparent completeness of a half-completed work, would be the worst form of selling out. I don’t think I’d be able to live with myself even if it means being having to live with myself as a published author.
Filed under:
(2) Embraced the madness. // Insanity Isn't Temporary
Ready to kick serious RPG ass.Now Playing: Sweet Rosalyn by Sheryl Crow
Now Reading: The Complete Bard (A D&D Manual)
I thought I would share with you all a few of the To-Do lists that are floating around my house. It should give you some insight into the three people living here, and make you wonder why in the hell we all share the same place.
Grandfather’s To-Do List:
Repair leaking bathroom sink drain
Sand down, enamel and seal up the bathtub
Clean the hallway walls
Get rid of coffee table in front of fireplace
Fix dryer that no longer dries things (hang wet clothes on line)
Throw out Ang’s queen-sized bed that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with and replace it with much more space-oriented twin bed.
Get new hardware (faucet, showerhead, knobs) for the bathtub
Grandmother’s To-Do List
Replace bathroom sink
Replace 3000-lb. Cast-iron bathtub
Replace Kitchen Sink
Replace hallway wallpaper
Replace dryer (take wet clothes to Laundromat for drying)
Buy 30-gallon fish tank for the coffee table in front of the fireplace
Steal Ang’s queen-sized bed and somehow fit it into her closet-sized bedroom
Get new hardware (faucet, showerhead, knobs) for the bathtub
My To-Do List:
Tell both of them to leave me the hell out of all dryer, bathtub, sink related issues.
Keep their dirty little paws off of my bed
Sleep in said bed as often as possible, preferably during the daylight hours so as to avoid constant cries of "Ang! I need you!" or "Hey, Paige, come here a sec."
Work like hell during very odd hours, while most people are sleeping.
Upgrade fish tank through any means necessary.
Keep my grandmother the hell away from the keys to my car.
Get new hardware (faucet, showerhead, knobs) for the bathtub
Sadie (the Dog’s) To-Do List
Follow Gran around all day.
Look cute, sit behind her and stare until she is unnerved.
Repeat.
At least us three humanoids have something in common with our hatred f the bathroom hardware. Not sure if this is enough to forge a bond on, but we're trying. Or they are. Or at least trying not to kill each other. I'm staying the heck out of the line of fire. It's safer where the crazy people can't get you.
Filed under:
(2) Embraced the madness. // Insanity Isn't Temporary
(want in on the action? click BDI's fabulous piggie mascot)
Now Playing: Fortunate Son by CCR
Still Reading: Sharpe's Prey by Bernard Cornwell
Swear Words Spoken: Three
Let's warm up with a new exercise. Think of a cliché, a favorite saying, a sampling of your favorite lyrics or a snippet from your favorite poem or movie. For instance, "... the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth." Now, hump it up! Here's how the example would translate, " ... the hump, the whole hump and nothing but the hump." The possibilities are endless ... have fun with it! Ready? Hump it up!
“He had it humpin’, he had it humpin,’ he only had himself to blame “If you’d have been there, if you’d have seen it, “I bet you you would have humped the same” (I feel sooooo dirty now) Okay, now that we're all warmed up let's move on to a little Mind Humping fun with "I say ___, you think ___." In response to the following list of words enter the first words, phrase, idea or thought that comes into your ever humpin' mind. Ready? Put on your humping caps. 01. Lipstick: I really need to get in touch with Zombie about a project. Trust me, it’s related ;)
--The Cell Block Tango
“Chicago”
02. Dust: I need to dust. This cubicle is starting to get slightly covered in dust. Bad cubicle! Bad maintenance people for never dusting the cubicles or taking out our trash!
03. Scissors: Don’t give em to Dustin. I work with him, and he should never, ever be given scissors. It’s dangerous to society.
04. Balls: Beach balls from our recent office party. I got bopped in the back of the head with one today while trying to act important. Needless to say, it ruined the effect.
05. Sponge: Those artificial sponges that are synthetic, made to look real and quite harsh on the skin, yet are somehow passed off as “exfoliants.”
06. Bottom: Sponges. Don’t ask me why. I really have no idea. I think it’s some weird play on Spongebob, a show that I passionately loathe.
07. Doodle: I just finished a really cute doodle of Xaos for her art collection. Clicketh here to see it. Also, I really need to draw that pic of my boss I keep promising her.
08. Bottle: Need beer. I take that back. Need Smirnoff Ice Triple Black.
09. Cheese: “I like cheese.” It’s this weird thing a few of my friends say when we’re super-confused.
10. Queen: My dog, because she thinks she’s Queen of the Universe.
Filed under:
(4) Embraced the madness. // Insanity Isn't Temporary
AmusedOur office is slowly becoming a kitten rescue project. I’ve seen quite a few of them pass through our “No Pets Allowed” interior of late. People are apparently dumping their kittens at me place of employment in hopes that some employee on their way to lunch or home will see them mewling pitifully and be overwhelmed by their cuteness and take at least one of the previously unwanted critters home.
So far, the plan seems to be working. Last year, Shadow came through the office, creating pandemonium in his wake. Here’s the story of the havoc he wreaked, as told in an entry on my old journal:
Today at work , during lunch one of our new agents found this little long-haired gray kitten on the side of the road and brought it back. the thing was so cute and pitiful and couldn't have been more than 2 months old, but it's a business so pets are not allowed in any sense of the word. So, we spent all day hiding a 2-month old cat from management until one of us clocked out and could take it home. My cubicle wound up being converted into a playpen, but the critter refused to be contained. It was completely hyperactive and ready to explore, so it kept jumping over all the barricades we made. We had to chase it all over our row of cubes.
All was going well until our manager went home. That's when we almost got busted. One of the more strict managers came over to talk to me while I was babysitting our kitty. He knew I'm going to new york and was recommending places to see while I was there. I had to shove this cat in my filing cabinet and kick the door shut before he saw it, or we were all in serious shit. The whole time we were talking, I was sitting on my desk hoping I didn't look too flustered, and had one foot on the drawer to keep the kitten from opening it and was just praying it wouldn't start scratching or crying. Thankfully, she seemed to realize we were in dire crisis mode and kept quiet.
Only problem was, the barricades were still up around my cube and he was naturally curious as to what the hell we were doing. I had to make up some bs story and be all cute and flirty, saying I was stressed out and had resigned from the team and was living in my playpen of happiness until further notice. He laughed, and I managed to lead him off our row and pass word for someone to liberate the kitty before something happened.
One of my teammates too her home at the end of the day, when we clocked out. So, hopefully, she'll live happily ever after.
Shadow turned out to be a he, and he is still doing will living with Andi, her husband and a Great Dane, among others.
Today, at around 1:30 in the morning, Joy, one of our new agents I just finished mentoring, goes shooting past my cubicle saying something about having to see the kittens. I’m thinking, wait, we have more kittens in the building, and naturally took off, as I love cute kittens and wanted to find out what the heck she was talking about. We would up running around half the building taking the long way (and yes, there is a long way and a much shorter, short way to do it) until we happened upon a cubicle in the back with one of the night-shifters and a duo of tiny little kittens, a blackish-brown one and a calico striped. Her manager was holed up in her office across the way, sneezing her head off from a combination of cat allergies and that God-awful mildew smell from where a storm flooded us out on Sunday and apparently collapsed half the roof (and yes, we’re still in business and no, this is not the first time our roof has collapsed) but no one bothered to ShopVac up the water. After a fair amount of oohing and aweing over the cute little things and trying to figure out who was going to take them home, another of the night crew came running over saying there was something meowing outside. Kittens in hand, we went to investigate and, sure enough, in the weeds, some poor little thing was crying its frightened head off.
Off go me and a few other workers into the weeds to chase the kitten, who instinctually starts bolting all over the place upon hearing things much larger and scarier sounding than it was, tromping towards it. Tramping through the woods in a dress and heels is not a good idea by any means, and I have no idea why in the hell I decided to dress up for work today, but thankfully I did no serious damage and we managed to catch the kitten, another little, black one who turned out to be the runt of the litter judging from the looks of him.
We’d no sooner found that little guy and gotten him calmed down on the smoke dock (our company’s version of the watercooler), when we heard a fourth set of plaintive mews. Back into the field of weeds went we, but the final kitty eluded us all. This little guy was smarter than his brothers and sister, though. Instead of running for it, he simply curled up somewhere and refused to budge or move. No one had flashlights, so someone got the brilliant idea to fire up their Jeep, turn on the bright lights and drive it out into the middle of the field to try to spotlight this cat, which had to be terrified out of its mind by that point in time. By this point, at least ten of the 35 or so people staffed for the night had joined in the hunt, and about three or four more were looking after the trio of hyperactive kittens we’d already found.
Sadly, I must leave the story by telling you that I don’t know if anyone ever found the fourth kitten, as my shift ended and I was ordered to give up the search and go home. I’ll keep you updated with what I learn when I come in later today. When I did leave, you'll be happy to know, all three of the found kittens already had homes, and there was a waiting list of potential owners, should the fourth cat be found. Sadly, I did not get to take one home, as I already have two spoiled cats and a dog that would have a nervous breakdown if a new animal moved in. Not to mention a grandfather who would shoot me if I brougth home another stray.
And, one of these days, I promise to write a post about actually working at my place of employment, as it seems that all work-related postings have to do with the interesting ways in which I manage to avoid work.
Filed under:
(1) Embraced the madness. // Insanity Isn't Temporary
Depressed as hellNow Reading: Sharpe's Prey by Bernard Cornwell
Quote of the Week...
"Though my soul may set in darkness it shall rise in perfect light
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."
--Sarah Williams
An Old Astronomer to His Pupil
It has come to my attention, or perhaps I've only been reminded, that I can only really do good work on the Centre books when I'm in a thoroughly shot to hell mood. I've been getting work in on that stalled chapter today, in between dealing with emotional trauma, admin stuff and revamping my site. Here's an excerpt. Thought I'd share. It's not anything special, but here it is:
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“What’s the matter?” Kevin asked before sipping his drink. Save for a light in his eye and slight furrow of his brow, I’d have never known there was more than passing concern behind the questions.
I shook my head, tried to laugh a little, managed to fail at doing both. “Thinking.”
“Well stop it!” He ordered, rather forcefully. “It look is serious.” He leaned back in his chair, a rather drunken gesture considering how little he’d had and swirled the liquid in his glass.
I sighed, unable to help myself. “I’m just wondering if we did any good, that’s all.”
“You’re shittin’ me, right?” The question came from Vicious, who was looking at me with the kind of ludicrous expression that made me wonder, no matter how briefly, if I’d sprouted a third arm.
“I second that,” Kevin agreed with a finger pointed to Abernathe in emphasis. It was enough to make me wander if he’d started drinking before the meeting. Considering how he’d started his morning, it wasn’t entirely out of the question.
“Details, pray tell?” Abernathe added, leaning forward to rest his elbow on the table so that he could use his hand to prop up his face. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was settling in for one hell of a story. I had no intentions of giving him one. Given the company I was in, I was too afraid it would be mistaken for a pity trip, which it probably was to begin with, but that didn’t mean anyone had to tell me as much.
“They’re shutting us down.” I responded simply.
“And from this conclusion you’ve decided the past two decades of your life were for nothing?” Kevin asked. “Good God, man, we haven’t saved the world in some grandiose fashion, but we’ve more than done our part and it sure as hell wasn’t for lack of trying.”
“It wasn’t enough, I observed, rather miserably.
My observation made Kevin sober just a little. In spite of the change in demeanor, he smiled softly, meaning to infuse his next words with some small level of comfort. “It never is.”
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Embrace the madness. // Insanity Isn't Temporary