There are a lot of more important things I could be updating about right now, but I'm not going to. Later, maybe, but not now.
This is just a friendly public service announcement from The Occasional. If you live in the US, do not use Regions Bank. Ever.
Why? You ask? Because in this time of economic crisis when people are missing payments and defaulting on loans, credit cards and everything else left and right, Regions will actually punish you for being a good customer.
Say what? No, really.
I managed to pay my car loan off a couple months early and got slapped with extra fees that totaled more than the final payment itself. When I called to ask why, it was the "penalty for paying early." Would they waive the fee? Of course not? Why? Because it was in the contract. I could go to the local branch and talk to a loan officer about it, which, believe me, I would, except for one small problem. There isn't a local branch within 100 miles of where I live. Believe me, I checked.
You have got to be kidding me. Shouldn't a bank be rolling over to kiss the feet of their customers who are actually fulfilling the terms of their loans and getting the money back to them? But instead, they are too busy negotiating with everyone else for money they're not going to see anyway, waiving payments and fees and everything else in hopes of getting a tiny portion of their money back on a loan they probably never should've made in the first place.
Companies, banks especially, listen up: if you want to keep your customers happy, don't penalize the ones who are actually being good customers. It just makes us angry, and makes us write up pissed off rants we post on the internet.
Later, when it's not a potential legal issue, I'll tell you a really good story about a brain tumor, 30 vials of the wrong blood and a torn aorta, among other epic fuckuppery.
Filed under: Get Off My Lawn!, No, really, Get the fuck off my lawn!
Embrace the madness. // Insanity Isn't Temporary
Pieced together over 2 days of Tweets.
vegaszombie = Zombie
curtinparole = Winston
ocasionalmadnes = Me
Wednesday
curtinparloe is saddened to learn that Twitter doesn't stop when I log off for a day. Aren't I important enough or something?
OcasionalMadnes @curtinparloe Twitter stops more often than you think. You just have to start coordinating your personal stoppags with it.
curtinparloe @OcasionalMadnes But updates used to synchronise around me, and they've stopped. I think I've hurt Twitter's feelings by calling it fat...
vegaszombie @OcasionalMadnes and @curtinparloe Screw Twitter. Where's my damn coconut monkey?
OcasionalMadnes @vegaszombie Twitter ate the monkey. @curtinparole called it fat after it did so. Twitter broke up with him.
vegaszombie @OcasionalMadnes Well, if Twitter broke up with @curtinparloe that means someone is available to woo me with a liquored up coconut monkey.
OcasionalMadnes @curtinparloe @vegaszombie I'll leave you two alone, then.
vegaszombie @OcasionalMadnes I don't care where the fucking monkey comes from. Was merely making an observation.
OcasionalMadnes @vegaszombie Am laughing too hard to make proper response. Boss is giving me suspicious glares.
vegaszombie @OcasionalMadnes Boss can bring monkey. No care! WANT MONKEY!
vegaszombie Obviously @curtinparloe has no desire to procure and present me with a coconut monkey filled with liquor. I am saddened.
Thursday
curtinparloe @OcasionalMadnes @vegaszombie See? I don't log on for a day and I miss out on a seduction involving inebriated primates and palm seeds! Bah!
OcasionalMadnes @curtinparloe I am sure that if you secure previously-mentioned coconut monkey and some rum, the seduction of @vegaszombie can resume.
vegaszombie @OcasionalMadnes and @curtinparloe What. The. Fuck? Will someone be so kind as to draw me a map?
OcasionalMadnes @vegaszombie You have no memory of yesterday's conversation?
OcasionalMadnes RT @vegaszombie Well, if Twitter broke up with @curtinparloe that means someone is available to woo me with a liquored up coconut monkey.
OcasionalMadnes @vegaszombie: Consider your memory refreshed.
curtinparloe @OcasionalMadnes seducing @vegaszombie is definitely on my to-do list. Now, where to find a drunky monkey at this hour...
vegaszombie @OcasionalMadnes Sure. I was demanding alcohol in a coconut monkey. However, I don't recall anything regarding seduction.
OcasionalMadnes @vegaszombie "woo me" = guy-speak for "seduce"
vegaszombie @OcasionalMadnes That meant either Twitter OR @curtinparloe. I mean, I'm not picky after all.
OcasionalMadnes @vegaszombie and @curtinparole is trying lamenting missing out on said seduction. Dammit.
vegaszombie @OcasionalMadnes By all means, you can have the male, just leave me the monkey. See, not picky.
curtinparloe @OcasionalMadnes @vegaszombie Sadly I haven't the wit to woo...
OcasionalMadnes @vegaszombie I'm not even gonna respond to your monkey lust. @curtinparole you don't need wit, just booze.
vegaszombie @curtinparloe That's OK, just give me the monkey. All I want is the monkey!
vegaszombie @OcasionalMadnes But, but.... I hear tales that he is witty and has access to film equipment. *snickersnort*
OcasionalMadnes @curtinparole Ok, new plan. Leave @vegaszombie to her freaky monkey infatuation. Bring the booze to my place. ;)
vegaszombie @OcasionalMadnes Monkey MUST have booze! MUST! @curtinparloe Don't listen to her.
curtinparloe @OcasionalMadnes @vegaszombie Booze I can manage - I'm nt sure I should get too involved with some funky monkey junkie...
vegaszombie @curtinparloe Not funky... coconut. Get it right.
vegaszombie http://twitpic.com/gdamf - Behold.....
curtinparloe @OcasionalMadnes @vegaszombie I wasn't referring to the monkey as funky ;) I think I need a lie down in a darkened room after all this...
Filed under: Entertain me, I has the dumb
Embrace the madness. // Insanity Isn't Temporary
You will have to sign up to read my updates, because I really dislike gosspiy little snots who like to start drama in my life. So leave me a note here if you sign up to follow me and don't have an ID I will easily recognize.
I will return to this blog. Eventually. Maybe. But it will be a while.
P.S.
Tardasaurus Rex and my little Space Cadet (otherwise known as Arthur and Rabbit) also have Twitter. You can follow the feline antics at http://twitter.com/tardyandcadet. They are equal-opportunity attention whores, so you don't have to have an account to follow them.
Filed under:
(1) Embraced the madness. // Insanity Isn't Temporary
You know your community's security is bad when the security guard's car get stolen from the parking lot while he's on duty.
There is, by the way, only one way in to or out of where I live, and the guard's little shed is right smack in the middle of the "in" and "out" gates.
Also: Still unemployed. Money would be such a good thing right about now.
Also: Found a sweet potential new apartment that both Zombs and I love, so we are applying for it.
Also: Going to Flagstaff, AZ this weekend for a Celtic festival. Will get to see the Hoover Damn *and* travel Route 66. Am very much praying it does not turn out like our trip to the Twilight Zone (aka Primm).
Also: Have sort of adopted a cat. His name is Arnold. I stole him from Zombie's building, where someone dumped him off. I would fully adopt Arnold if he would let me, but every time he comes into my apartment, he throws a claustrophobic hissing fit and he and Rabbit end up hissing and making increasingly strange, dog-like noises at each other.
Also: Vitamin B12 and I do not get along. It screws up my dreams and has other, more bizarre, side effects.
The Book of Lies
By Brad Meltzer
Dust and Shadow: An Account of the Ripper Killings by Dr. John H. Watson
By Lyndsay Faye
The Philanthropist [Blu-ray]
Staring James Purefoy
Filed under: Waking up in Vegas
Embrace the madness. // Insanity Isn't Temporary
*This is the part of the entry where we skip over a super-awesome OMG I can't believe I just saw Live poolside concert at The Palazzo concert, had an emergency trip back to Virginia to put my puppy of 16 years to sleep, hang out with old friends, torment the Warlord, and visit the Twilight Zone (also known as Primm, NV) to see Bill Engvall.*
Which is to say, stuff has happened, but I just don't feel like writing about it. I will try to be better about more timely updates in the future.
Filed under: Entertain me, On the road again
(3) Embraced the madness. // Insanity Isn't Temporary
Also, my cats have Twitter.
Filed under: Found on teh Interwebz, LOLcats, Non-entries
(2) Embraced the madness. // Insanity Isn't Temporary
Filed under: Waking up in Vegas
Embrace the madness. // Insanity Isn't Temporary
If you're ever in Vegas you really should go see Blue Man Group. Zombs and I just got back from it, courtesy of some free show tickets, 4th row center, just feet from the stage. It was a stunning audio, visual and comedic treat, and an hour and a half of pure awesomeness.
Since I can't find a clip of the damn thing I want to post -- a neon light-show ode to truck stops and the Old West -- make do with this one instead.
Filed under: Entertain me, Waking up in Vegas
(1) Embraced the madness. // Insanity Isn't Temporary
I just cancelled my order for the lastest Anita Blake book, Skin Trade. I absolutely refuse to read another sentence as painful as the second one below, which appears on the novel's first page.
I refuse to read it even at Amazon's super-awesome discount price. Hell, I just refused to move on to page 2 when it was offered to me for free on the author's website. Bad prose is bad, mmm'kay? And 400-800 pages of equally bad prose? No thanks.
I don't even care that it takes place in Vegas, which is why I started on the preview in the first place. I wanted to see how badly she screwed up the setting. But now I realize I won't even be able to make it that far, which is a shame because her Anita Blake books used to be one of my favorite series. And intelligently written.
No, really.
Shit like that does not deserve to be published, much less be guaranteed a spot on a bestseller list. And if you don't see anything wrong with above-posted sentence, please leave this blog and never come back. You'll be doing us both a favor.
I am officially finished with this author. I'll be taking the money I would've spent on the book and buying this haircare product instead. It lives up to its name and never fails to deliver the quality I have come to expect.
P.S. Ooh, they make shampoo!
Filed under: Entertain me, Get Off My Lawn!
(3) Embraced the madness. // Insanity Isn't Temporary
I will not be getting a house for at least 4-6 more months. This sucks, monumentally. Especially as it is no one's fault but my own. I fail as a human being.
Unless plans change, I will probably lock into one more lease here at La Chateau, then break it (and suffer the financial penalties) as soon as I'm able to secure a place. Hopefully by late fall or early winter that will be possible.
In other news, the free concert bug is hitting again this weekend. Going to see Blue Man Group at the Venetian on Sunday. And possibly Barry Manilow tomorrow.
Why Barry Manilow? I dunno. Neither does Zombie. But there is still a possibility we will be there anyway. If we don't decide to eat out at a very nice steakhouse instead. Also for free.
In other news, the weather here was really nice today. Like, freaky nice. It was overcast but didn't actually rain, which means the sun wasn't trying to kill us. The winds died down just as I left the house, and the city smelled like water as opposed to a wet dog. It was a perfect day to dine outdoors.
And now I am going to dye my hair. Against my wishes (but in favor of my better judgment) it will not be purple.
EDIT: Looks like Manilow will have to wait. All the free tickets were snapped up before we could clear our schedule.
Filed under: I has the dumb, Waking up in Vegas
(1) Embraced the madness. // Insanity Isn't Temporary